Parenting a child with ADHD can be both rewarding and challenging. While their creativity and enthusiasm can be infectious, helping them stay on task and complete everyday activities can often feel like an uphill battle. Understanding the unique way their brains work can make a world of difference. Two simple words – "First-Then" – can be your secret weapon to help your ADHD child accomplish tasks and build essential executive function skills.
The ADHD Brain: Now vs. Not Now
ADHD, which stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects millions of children worldwide. One of the key challenges faced by children with ADHD is their inherent struggle with time management and task initiation. Their brains often operate in two primary modes: "now" and "not now." This can be attributed to a 30% neurodevelopmental delay in executive function skills, encompassing task initiation, motivation, sustained attention, and planning and prioritisation.
The "now" mode refers to tasks or activities that are immediately rewarding or stimulating to the child, such as playing video games, watching TV, or pursuing a hobby they are passionate about. Conversely, the "not now" mode includes tasks that require effort, organisation, and sustained attention, like homework, chores, or getting ready for school in the morning.
Parents often find it perplexing that their children can focus intensely on activities they love. Still, when it comes to essential responsibilities, it's as if a mental block impedes their progress. This is where the magic of "First-Then" comes into play.
First-Then: The Game-Changing Pair of Words
"First-Then" is a simple yet powerful strategy that can help children with ADHD bridge the gap between their "now" and "not now" modes. This approach requires the child to complete a less desirable task (the "first" part) before they can engage in an activity they prefer (the "then" part).
For example, you can say, "First, you do your homework; then, you can go out to play." By framing your requests in this "First-Then" combination, you're offering your child a clear sequence of events and an immediate reward for their efforts.
Making "First-Then" Work for Your Child
Implementing the "First-Then" strategy effectively requires some thoughtful planning and consistency. Here are some tips to help you make the most of this approach:
1. Use the "First-Then" Combination: Always present your requests using the "First-Then" structure. This simplifies the expectations for your child and makes the task more manageable.
2. Time Your Requests: Make your "First-Then" requests during transitional moments. For example, right before your child begins an activity they desire, such as playing with friends after school or watching their favourite TV show. This way, they are more likely to comply since the preferred activity is imminent.
3. Offer Specific Praise: After your child completes the task, acknowledge their effort with specific praise. For instance, you can say, "I like how you emptied the dishwasher before you went to play on your PlayStation. Thank you for being responsible." This positive reinforcement encourages them to continue following the "First-Then" routine.
4. Be Patient and Consistent: Remember that your child might need time to adjust to this new approach. Be patient and consistently use " First-Then " for various tasks and activities.
Parenting a child with ADHD comes with its own set of challenges, but understanding their unique needs and using effective strategies can make a significant difference. The "First-Then" approach taps into how their brains work, helping them bridge the gap between their immediate desires and essential responsibilities. By implementing this simple but powerful strategy and offering praise for their efforts, you can empower your ADHD child to become more organised, focused, and successful in managing their daily tasks. Remember, it's not about changing who they are but providing them with the tools they need to thrive in a world that often demands tasks in the "not now" category.
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