Parenting a child with ADHD can be both rewarding and challenging. One of the most challenging aspects can be dealing with aggressive outbursts. It's essential to remember that these outbursts are often not driven by a desire to be difficult, but rather stem from deficits in executive function skills, such as impulse control, metacognition, and working memory. In this article, we will explore why children with ADHD may react aggressively, and how the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) method, developed by Dr. Ross Greene, can be a transformative approach to managing these behaviours.
Understanding the Root Causes
1. Executive Function Skills Deficits:
Children with ADHD frequently struggle with executive function skills essential for self-regulation and problem-solving. Impulse control, metacognition (thinking about one's thoughts), working memory, and emotional regulation are often compromised in children with ADHD. These deficits can lead to aggressive outbursts when they find managing their emotions or impulsivity challenging.
2. Communication Difficulties:
Aggressive outbursts are often a result of communication difficulties. Children with ADHD may lack the skills to express their feelings, needs, and frustrations effectively. Instead of using words, they resort to physical or verbal aggression as a way to communicate their distress.
3. Unmet Expectations:
Children with ADHD may have difficulty meeting the expectations set by parents, teachers, and peers due to their executive function deficits. When they perceive these expectations as unattainable, they may become overwhelmed and resort to aggression as a coping mechanism.
The Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) Approach
Dr. Ross Greene's Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) method offers a more empathetic and effective way to understand and address the underlying causes of aggressive outbursts in children with ADHD. CPS is grounded in the belief that challenging behaviour is a result of lagging skills, rather than a wilful defiance. Here are the three essential steps of the CPS approach:
1. Empathy:
The first step in the CPS method is to approach your child with empathy. Understand that their behaviour is a manifestation of their struggles, not a deliberate attempt to upset you. Instead of reacting with frustration or anger, try empathising with your child's feelings and perspective.
2. Define Adult Concerns:
Once you've established empathy, it's crucial to identify the specific concerns or expectations that your child is struggling to meet. What are the behaviours or tasks causing difficulties? Clearly define these concerns without judgment or blame.
3. Invitation to Concerns:
The final step is to involve your child in the problem-solving process. Engage them in a collaborative discussion about their difficulties and work together to find mutually agreeable solutions. Encourage them to share their perspective and ideas for addressing their challenges.
By following the CPS method, you can shift the focus from managing aggressive behaviour to addressing the root causes of the outbursts. This approach empowers your child to develop the executive function skills necessary to manage their emotions and communicate more effectively.
Understanding and managing aggressive outbursts in your ADHD child requires a shift in perspective. Recognise that these outbursts often result from executive function skill deficits and communication difficulties. By embracing the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) method, you can foster a more empathetic and collaborative relationship with your child. Through empathy, defining concerns, and inviting your child to participate in the problem-solving process, you can help them develop the skills they need to navigate their challenges successfully. Remember that your child's aggressive outbursts do not reflect their character but a call for support and understanding.
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