Parenting is a remarkable journey filled with moments of joy, love, and laughter. However, it can also be punctuated by challenges, particularly when children exhibit concerning behaviours. Caregivers often interpret these behaviours as attention-seeking, manipulative, coercive, unmotivated, lazy, or limit-testing.
But what if we could view these behaviours through a more empathetic and informed perspective?
What if we understood these actions might be the child's way of communicating their struggles with meeting our expectations? By adopting this perspective, we can gain deeper insights into these challenges through the lens of lagging skills in executive functions. This shift allows for more accurate, productive, and actionable insights. In this article, we will delve into the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model developed by Dr. Ross Greene. We will explore how this model can help parents change their approach to addressing children's concerning behaviours, fostering a more empathetic and constructive environment.
Understanding Executive Function Challenges
Executive functions encompass a set of cognitive skills that enable us to plan, organise, initiate tasks, sustain attention, manage time, and regulate emotions. These skills are essential for daily life, as they help individuals navigate tasks, routines, and social situations effectively. However, children with executive function challenges may struggle with one or more of these skills. This struggle often leads to behaviours that appear frustrating or challenging to caregivers.
The Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) Model
Dr Ross Greene's Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model is a groundbreaking approach that redefines how we understand and address challenging behaviours in children. Instead of viewing the child as defiant or disobedient, this model focuses on identifying and addressing the underlying causes of their behaviours, often rooted in lagging executive function skills.
1. Recognise and Empathise with the Child's Struggles
The first step in the CPS model is to acknowledge that the child is not willfully misbehaving. Instead, they are struggling to meet certain expectations due to their executive function challenges. This shift in perspective allows caregivers to approach the situation with empathy and patience, creating a more conducive environment for productive interactions.
2. Identify Specific Difficulties
Caregivers must list the difficulties their child is experiencing around various aspects of daily life, including tasks, hygiene, social situations, transitions, and routines. These difficulties can vary widely, from planning and initiating tasks to managing emotions during transitions.
3. Collaborative Problem Solving
Once the challenges are identified, caregivers and children can work together to find solutions. This collaborative approach encourages open communication and allows the child to be an active participant in problem-solving. By involving the child in this process, you contribute to finding effective solutions and enhancing your child's skills that are lacking.
Shifting our perspective on children's concerning behaviours from "attention-seeking" or "manipulative" to recognising them as indicators of executive function challenges can lead to more compassionate and effective parenting. The Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model developed by Dr. Ross Greene provides a roadmap for caregivers to work collaboratively with their children to address the root causes of these behaviours. By focusing on problem-solving and understanding, we can create a nurturing environment that allows children to thrive and overcome their challenges. Remember, it's not about changing the child; it's about changing how we support them. Embracing this shift in perspective can ultimately lead to stronger, more positive parent-child relationships and better outcomes for everyone involved.
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